One of the most challenging aspects of my education thus far is the anxiety related to thinking about the future and the unknown. I recall being in my first year of my Bachelor of Arts and wondering why I was at university. At that point I did not know which career path I wanted to pursue, I just knew I wanted to continue my education past secondary school as soon as I could. So right after high-school I enrolled at Thompson Rivers University and began attending classes that fall. Spending money on books and tuition, enduring challenging classes, and balancing my formal education with other aspects of my life was daunting considering I did not know what to do for a career. In my first two years I looked at the future with uncertainty, and that was scary. Once the pieces started to fall into place and I committed myself to becoming a teacher I thought looking ahead would be something I could do without any angst. Though, I was wrong. Thus, I realized that no matter what situation I found myself in there was no way to look into the future with certainty. That should be no surprise, because if I had the ability to do so I would be a psychic, and I am not. However, I did used to think that the fear related to contemplating my future circumstances and how well I would handle them was directly related to uncertainty I felt at a given time.
Presently, I believe I am doing what I am supposed to be doing with more certainty than ever before, but I still wonder about how well I will do as a future teacher. In wondering about this I worry, of course; this aspect of planning out my life has not changed. What has differed, however, is my awareness of the fact that despite these fears I speak of, I know I will persevere through challenges and learn a lot. This is not to say that I will not fail; that is an inevitable and invaluable part of learning. Even in the wake of failure, what is important is that I take the lessons learned from those experiences and successes and integrate them into how I live life on a daily basis. Believing in this philosophy and carrying through day-to-day with it is what keeps the uncertainty of the future in check and reassures me that I’ll be alright.